Evidence

The Dude does not always abide.

Reason No. 528

I owe a ton of blog posts, but this scene was too cute not to share immediately, check back for pictures from the weekend.

Amis!

We are very blessed to have people in our lives who like us enough to disrupt their tour of beautiful Northern California and drive five hours into the blazing heat of Bakersfield. We were plagued by a swarm of flies that ruined our outdoor BBQ one day and then disappeared the next and a Basque cultural festival that was misrepresented as something fun, but it's not what you do its the company you keep. And there is no better company to keep than time spent our cousins from Montreal, Didier, Lam and Mila, the sweetest and loveliest family imaginable.

Stroller buddies at the Farmer's Market.

Sisters at the flower booth (about to touch all the flowers).

So hard to get a photo of FOUR kids all looking in the same direction (Athena was not happy with our many attempts).

Our adorable "cousine" Mila - the kids all share the same great-grandpapa, Adjutor Bernier, but she called everyone "Amis!"

Lam and Mila enjoying the 97 degree heat.

Dude playing basketball with Didier.

Beware this guy!

Because he will steal your grapes (and eat all of them).

Time spent with my cousin and our kids (priceless).

Lam, Didier and Mila, we loved having you guys! Anyone else from Quebec wanna come visit?

Slacker Mom No More

I confess, I am a slacker Mom, evident by the fact that for two years we've live in a place that gets hotter than the surface of the sun but just yesterday my girls had their first swimming lesson.
In the hot months we're at the pool at least twice a week, so swimming without real lessons have lead to very bad habits. Athena will not enter the water without her bright orange arm floaties and Zoe is quite used to always being held.
The girls were very excited about starting swim lessons, but when we got to the pool Athena asked for her floaties right away. "No floaties for swim lessons!" I said cheerfully which sent her cowering to her "baby penguin" position - tucked into a ball sitting in between my legs.Zoe, meanwhile, started lifting up my shirt and looking for my bathing suit. "I didn't bring mine you're going to be swimming with your teacher." She didn't like that idea at all and suggested I swim naked. Taren showed up right about then all smiles and light and led the girls to the edge of the pool. I hightailed it out of there as quickly as possible, they are always much braver when I'm not around.
I snuck back in 20 minutes later to find Zoe talking a blue streak to Taren and both girls having the time of their lives. They learned to get in and out of the pool, float on their backs, make a sandwiches with their hands, plus a few new songs about swimming.
Tomorrow we going in head first!

Fifth Father's Day...er Sixth...

Anyone can be a Father but it takes a special man to be a Daddy.

Summer Down Time

Ah lovely summer. The girls are down to three days of a "camp-like" preschool which they love - otter pops daily, water play and lots of theme parties. The other four days of the week find us doing all sorts of downtime activities, some planned some spontaneous. There's certainly lots to do on our non-work/non-school days, and so many ways to spend an empty afternoon,

why not run through the sprinkler with an umbrella?

Or "play" with your favorite toy, the "little bother"

or enjoy a Luau-themed play date with best friends also on a summer schedule

followed by more "playing" with the bother

or go get your feet wet in the Pacific ocean

or simply covering yourself with chalk and chase your Mom around

or build a fort in the dining room with all your blankets, sheets and Mom's tablecloths.

on the weekends we get dressed up for church

or practice "reading"

or eat homemade pink lemonade popsicles

which are truly delicious

and enjoy hanging out and looking cool by the pool

all followed by a serious nap attack.

Life's a Beach

It's so not easy taking three kids to the beach two hours away, but so worth it. On a random Tuesday that found three adults without work and two kids without school, we had a great time playing in the Pacific Ocean with Mariana and Mimi today.

Athena could have spent all day chasing the waves.

Zoe enjoyed the wave running too,

but preferred to chill by the blanket.

Jack's first taste of the ocean.

He could not get enough and would have run right in if I let go.
Athena and Mariana - two water signs who love the ocean.

Sometimes daring wave runners get caught!

It was a little too breezy for full on bathing suits so we spent most of our day on the Santa Monica boardwalk riding the rides and playing games and eating junk - a fun send off for our sweet Mimi who'll be working in New York all summer. Gasp!

Third Child Syndrome

The Dude totally rocks the pink hand-me-down swim floatie.

The Middle Place

I read a statistic recently that says middle children typically receive 12% less attention than their siblings. I'm not sure how they calculate that but the research went on to say that this may lead to what's called the "middle child syndrome" which is defined by a sense of not belonging, a starving for attention that leads to insecurity, lack of identity, drive or ambition, and feeling out of place because they are not overachievers, like their older siblings, or spoiled and babied like the youngest.

I can see some middle childness in my Zoe. She is at once too big and too small - craving the coddling that the baby gets and crying when she can't do what Athena does. She is her sister's shadow and often grouped into Athena activities which are usually much more advanced than her three and a half years. Yet she clings to her babyhood with her "Hold me!" demands, requiring us to pick her up at least once a day. We do it, breaking our backs to balance her 38 pound frame, because we know she needs that little extra attention and, frankly, how can we not when she says things like "Hold me because I'm still little" or "Hold me because I love you and miss you."

We're doing the best we can to lavish attention on all of our minis. But having a third child dramatically changes the dynamics of a family. Suddenly it's no longer one on one parenting. We are outnumbered and have to turn to a zone defense strategy. Kids get less individual time and attention and the older ones must do more for themselves. We have to double-up and the logistics get complicated. It's inevitable that sometimes someone will get lost in the mix, someone won't be heard or someone's feelings will be overlooked no matter how hard we try.

In all the research it seems that middle children are most often describe by what they are not instead of who they are. So this is what Zoe is:

• she is incredibly funny, where her sister is our ham she is our true comedian
• she's a wonderful storyteller and tells tall tales with detail and dialogue
• she has a proprietary love for anything purple
• she is an adventurous eater and will try almost anything, but eat almost nothing
• she is endearing and melts our hearts daily with her random "I love you"s
• she is her Daddy's girl -her recent wish in the fountain was for "Daddy not to leave on anymore trips" which just about broke Chris' heart
• she is so photogenic with her soulful eyes and sweet face
• she is a homebody and prefers a day at home over any adventure
• she is resilient and will often "do the time for the crime" - going ahead and pulling her sister's hair even though she knows it will result in time out
• she deeply loves her sister and brother despite the constant disagreements
  
• she is very good at putting on bandaids and thinks she will make a great doctor some day
• and she holds a special place in the hearts of her extended family - almost to the point of favoritism

I believe that being forewarned is being forearmed. And I know we can counter the negative effects of Zoe being stuck in the middle by remembering to give her opportunities to shine singularly, to love her uniquely, praise her accomplishments and simply pay attention amidst the daily chaos. And even though they are three strong, try try try to take just one minute every day to treat each one like they are an only child.

The Boy of 100 Names

Is it true that a loved boy has many different names?

We really do love the name "John Patrick." It's a combination of both our father's names, a nod to my French Canadian roots, sounds great with our last name and can also be shortened to "J.P." for a banker or lawyer effect. It was the chosen boys name to go along with Athena. And well, five years and two baby girls later, we finally got our chance to use it. But "J.P." just hasn't stuck and truth be told we hardly ever call him "John Patrick."

Instead, he has a million nicknames, like:

The Dude

"Dude" or particularly "the Dude" is his affectionate nickname ala Mommy and Daddy, the girls will only sometimes call him that. It suits his laid back personality. But, we mostly use it when talking about him i.e. "I think the Dude is awake," its hardly every used directly at him. Another favorite is

Johnny

"Johnny" is Zoe's special name for him. She calls him this when she is loving on him, when he's "Johnny" he is hers no one else's. Then there is

Nacho

"Nacho" is an unfortunate nickname Athena gave him awhile back. We don't really know the source of it except one time at lunch her favorite teacher had Del Taco "nachos" and gave her a taste. When he's called Nacho it usually means he is a somewhat unwilling participant in an elaborate game conjured up by Athena which probably includes dress up of some sort. And

Jack Jack

Because Zoe is Violet, Athena is Dash, I'm ElastaGirl and Chris is Mr. Incredible. Or

John John

A loving derivative of "Jack Jack" and usually called that when the girls are snuggling with him or wanting to snuggle with him. It is a baby talk plea from his sisters, as in "Come on John John, please snuggle with me?" And, can't forget

Stinky Cheese Man

which is what Zoe calls him when he is a little "less than fresh" shall we say? We also like,

Jacquey-baby

Because he is that suave. And, finally

Jack

With all these names, he actually answers to "Jack." It is, in fact, the only name he responds to. So, we think he has chosen his name for himself.

And that is how John Patrick became "Jack."